Daily Prophet: Perils of Potter
by Luna'sHorcrux
Summary: With the wizarding world turning upside down, who knows what will happen? Good thing Betty Braithwaite has her quill to sort it all out!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, this is something that's been in a notebook for awhile. I've typed it up, revised the entire premise at least twice, and gone through this with a red pen at least five times. I make no promises, because I've got to get this done before I start my vacation. (I leave Saturday).

(BB - Betty Braithwaite)

(LV - Lord Voldemort)

(HP - Harry Potter)

* * *

**Interview:**

**June 17 1997 - Reporting Office of Senior Reporter Betty Braithwaite:**

**Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort**

BB: So Voldy, what's it like to find out your supposed enemy is your grandson?

LV: 1. Don't call me that. 2. How did you find that out?

BB: It was in the Politics section of the Daily Prophet.

HP: Who writes it?

BB: Davey Gudgeon of course! Couldn't think of a finer Gryffindor, though it is too bad that he lost mobility in his right arm, though he still uses that wonderful Quick Quotes Quill! In any case, we've been trying to get an interview with you two for weeks, Rita was convinced she'd get the article for the Blablabla section, but here you are in the International section! So, Harry, Voldemort, what is it like to be in your spot right now?

LV: Well, I certainly had no idea I had a grandson. Harry's mum - my daughter - was kidnapped when she was a baby and placed in a muggle household. I feel terrible for what I've done, I had no idea my daughter had been adopted by the Evans. Now I have to cope with the fact that I killed my daughter, her husband, and attempted to kill my grandson.

BB: And how about you, Harry? How are you taking this news?

HP: I've read my parents wills. My mum found out who she really was when she was pregnant with me. She never told anyone other than Severus Snape and I.

BB: So, how are you taking it as the Chosen One?

HP: If you think about it, I can't be the Chosen One. In the prophecy, it says, "born to those who have trice defied him," but unless Dumbledore is the Dark Lord, I can't be the Chosen One. So, after all, the Chosen One is Neville Longbottom.

BB: And what is Mr. Longbottom's opinion on all of this?

HP: From what he's said, he has no inclination to try to defeat my grandfather. He's taken the road to neutrality along with his muggleborn girlfriend Nellie Stone.

BB: So what will happen to the Wizarding World since Dumbledore has been locked away in Azkaban?

HP: My grandfather plans to disband the Death Eaters since he's regained his sanity, and will turn in Death Eaters such as Peter Pettigrew, Bellatrix Lestrange, Rodolphus Lestrange and Fenrir Greyback, in exchange for the compensation of others. (for a complete list of those who will be compensated and those who will be turned in, see the after interview notes - Section 1)

BB: What will you do once that business is over?

LV: Because Harry is descended from James Potter, he is a descendent of Helga Hufflepuff, and I am the heir of Slytherin. We own half of Hogwarts, and the Gryffindor Heiress has given us full control on the remodeling of Hogwarts.

BB: And who is the Gryffindor Heiress?

HP: Alicia Spinnet. You know her as Alicia Weasley, Fred Weasley's wife. Also, the Grey Lady - Helena Ravenclaw herself - only wants Hogwarts to be returned to her former glory, as a tribute to her mother - Rowena Ravenclaw.

BB: I'm certain none of us knew the Grey Lady was Helena, or we'd have certainly been kinder to her. {I invite you to make a donation to the Ravenclaw Diadem Recovery Foundation}

HP: And from what I've heard Alicia didn't know either.

BB: Now, what are your plans for the school?

LV: We have chosen a new list of required classes, updates, staff, and specialty courses.. (For a full list of Hogwarts revisions, see the after interview notes - Section 2)

**After Interview Notes - Section 1**

-Those Pardoned:-

Lucius Malfoy - Politics Professor

Narcissa Malfoy - Dark Magic Professor

Mekera Tshinyalani - Xylomancy and Tessomancy Professor

Draco Malfoy - Potions Apprentice

Blaise Zabini - Arithmancy Apprentice

Astoria Greengrass II - Mental Magic Professor

Regulus Black II - Transfiguration Professor

Pansy Parkinson - Astronomy Apprentice

Severus Snape - Potions Professor

Fabien Prewett II - Healing Magic Assistant

-Those Condemned:-

Bellatrix Lestrange - Torture, Breakout and Murder

Barty Crouch Jr. - Torture and Breakout

Thorfinn Rowle - Torture and Vandalism

A. Dolohov - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism

Rodolphus Lestrange - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism

Rabastan Lestrange - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism

Peter Pettigrew - Murder and Vandalism

V. Scabior - Torture, Breakout, Murder, Rape

Theodore Nott I - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism

Theodore Nott II - Murder and Vandalism

C. Avery I - Torture, Breakout, Murder and Vandalism

C. Avery II - Torture, Murder, and Vandalism

Fenrir Greyback - Torture, Murder, Breakout and Vandalism

Delores Umbridge - Torture, Murder

H. Parkinson - Torture and Murder

Astoria Greengrass I - Torture and Vandalism

Daphne Greengrass - Vandalism

Adrian Greengrass - Torture, Breakout and Murder

**After Interview Notes - Section 2**

(A/N: You can find the link on my profile, this section has bullet points)

* * *

A/N: Yep, you guessed it. I didn't get it done. (Sigh) But I will have this finished by the time I leave for my stepsister's birthday party. I swear, I'm going to get this thing done by then!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This is a companion piece to the first interview, so if you liked the first one you might like this. This was an attempt at characterization, but I decided to post it under this format. I need to go track down a picture to use for this, and I'm adding the note now, after I've completely finished the entire thing, but there you go.

(BB - Betty Braithwaite)

(AW - Alicia Weasley nee Spinnet)

* * *

**Interview:**

**June 23 1997 - Reporting Office of Senior Reporter Betty Braithwaite:**

**Alicia Weasley nee Spinnet**

BB: I've heard you are the heiress of Gryffindor.

AW: Yes, I am.

BB: Well, I'm sure that we'd all like to know what your take on the war is.

AW: As far as I'm concerned there is no war. I have a family, I'm not concerned with the war as long as my family is left alone.

BB: Certainly there must be a reason for your concern for only your family and not the greater good of the wizarding world…

AW: My brother in law was recently hurt in a raid. I'm eight months pregnant with a little girl. My sister in law was arrested for use of love potions. I'm going through a lot right now. My mum suffers from down syndrome. My family is important to me. Wouldn't you do the same?

BB: Well. Um… What are your hopes for Hogwarts as the Gryffindor Heiress?

AW: I merely asked that they create a fund for students with little to no money. I grew up lower-middle class, and I had to work very hard to make onto the quidditch team with my old Comet 260. A lot of wizarding families just don't have the money to pay for everything. I could barely pay for tuition as it is!

BB: So you're not interfering at all?

AW: Hey, if they want to burn the castle down, that's their choice. I just want the special circumstances funds and for the houses to be treated equally. I hated how much Slytherin was prejudiced against. My mum was in Slytherin. She was bullied so much, and none of the teachers did anything about it. It was horrifying. She's told me all about it. Horrible. I was almost a Hufflepuff. My mum told me to get into Gryffindor or Ravenclaw so I wouldn't get bullied.

BB: That's truly an inspirational story. What is your mum's name?

AW: My mum's Maggie Spinnet. She attended Hogwarts with Glenda Chittock, Lorcan d'Eath and Gilderoy Lockhart. My dad died when I was seven. I was in charge of most of the things at the house. Mum always tried her best to do magic, but she messed up a lot. When I was 13 I got permission from the Ministry to use magic at home.

BB: So you are a very hardworking young lady?

AW: Oh, no. I wouldn't say that. I'd say I was motivated. The sorting hat tried to get me into Hufflepuff or Slytherin - what a combination those two are - but I wouldn't budge. It was one of the only advice my mum gave me, and I wanted to follow it. Ravenclaw was out, so I went to Gryffindor.

BB: So, how was your life at Hogwarts?

AW: I was friends with Katie Bell, Fred and George Weasley. I played on the Quidditch team as a chaser - that's how I got to know Katie, Fred and George. I went to the yule ball with Fred, everyone thought Fred went with Angelina, but she went with George. I joined Dumbledore's Army, and I was expelled. Fred and George had already quit and we got along pretty well.

BB: And afterwards?

AW: When I was 19 and working as a waitress in The Leaky Cauldron, I got to know Fred better. We went out a couple times. Then Katie got cursed with the locket. I was so scared. I quit my job and was ready to go into hiding with my mum. Mum was almost a squib, so we would've been targeted. Fred stopped me from going to another country, he asked my mum and I to stay in the apartment above the shop. We went on more and more dates, fell in love, and got engaged. We had a little wedding at the Burrow - just Fred's older siblings and parents and my mum. Katie and Angelina were there too. Angelina had just broken up with George, but still attended. I guess she and George ended up talking to each other, because they got back together again soon after. I'm sorry, I talk too much. The Sorting Hat said that was why Gryffindor was a good choice, because I'm really social and I talk a lot.

BB: It's alright. Makes interviews easier. With some people all you get is a yes or no. Sometimes not even that.

AW: (Laughs), yeah that makes sense.

BB: So, what do you do now?

AW: Well now that You-Know-Who is ending the war, I'm coming out of hiding. The Ministry offered me a chance to retake my exams - luckily my wand wasn't snapped. I've been studying like crazy. Hopefully I'll get a more challenging job than a waitress - my long term goal is to be an Unspeakable, but who knows. I'll probably start out as an Ancient Runes or Arithmancy writer.

BB: This has to be one of my more interesting interviews, Alicia. I didn't know you were the Gryffindor Heiress, am I correct in guessing you didn't know either?

AW: Yes, you are. Harry contacted me later on this year. I'm descended from him through my great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Felicity Tripe nee Flamel. She's the daughter of Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel. She's still alive, because she created a sorcerer's stone like her parents. She married and had children a few hundred years later. I've spoken to her a few times, and she has told me many stories of Earlier Hogwarts and how it's quality has declined over the years. Harry hopes to make Hogwarts similar to the way it was during her time.

BB: I hope one day Felicity will allow us to interview her, she seems quite an interesting person. Unfortunately we're going to have to end on this note. This interview was certainly eye opening!


End file.
